06. December 2012 · Comments Off on Reviewing It’s Complicated (But it Doesn’t Have to Be) by Paul Carrick Brunson · Categories: Uncategorized

This was a wonderfully easy to read book that has some great advice. Basically the subtitle of the book explains it all, it is a Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love. Brunson defines himself as the modern day match maker.

I liked the importance of setting that Brunson discusses. In particular a place where one can grab coffee is seen as the best place to get to know someone for the first time. On page 191 the author lists some key attributes of the coffee setting. These are the fact that the venue is public (and hence safe), it is a low pressure environment (Brunson notes that it is laid back and communal), and the price is cheap. Also the caffeine causes one to stay alert which makes one pay more attention to the person that they are speaking to.

On page 193 the worst places to be on a date are the club and the movies. The club is seen by the author as loud, impersonal, and crowded which prevent any meaningful interaction. Also the movies are seen as a bad idea since both people are watching the screen, they cannot get to know one another and talk.

Additionally I enjoyed reading the emphasis that Brunson places on getting outside one’s comfort zone to do things that they would not normally consider doing. Page 189 has the author stating, “This means taking on activities- not just the bar scene- like day hikes, dance lessons, art gallery openings, conferences and trade conventions, martial arts classes, charity/volunteer work, book signings, boxing lessons, joining an amateur sporting league and outdoor city events, such as open markets, street fairs, carnivals, festivals, cookouts and other social gatherings. The more atypical the activity from what you’d normally do, the better.”

Also important are tips about trusting your gut (see page 172) to make sure that the person you are interacting with would be a good fit for a healthy relationship. Finally, the author advises one to not be defeated by hearing the word “No” this can be seen as simply being told to try someone else (see page 72).

 

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